Inside the Ultimate Novel Writing Programme: With Bursary Winner Rachel McLaughlin (Month 5)

‘Show don’t tell’.

We’ve all heard it – probably (definitely) more than we’d like. But how does it actually translate into writing? I thought I had a pretty solid idea until this month’s lesson on ‘Emotions and Senses’ with the Ultimate Novel Writing Programme…

As someone with a background in wellbeing, my go-to is helping others name their emotions. Naturally, that meant I did a lot of emotion-naming in my writing too – aka ‘telling’. That didn’t mean I neglected ‘showing’, in fact, I’d developed a rather unhelpful habit of doing both for the same feeling. I wasn’t putting enough trust in the reader or in my writing and felt I needed to explain (tell) what I showed. Now this isn’t to say you shouldn’t do this – there are no set rules in writing, after all – but I was doing it a lot, and it was putting distance between the reader and the story, so something had to change. This month for me was about letting go of the reins a little and trusting that my ‘showing’ would do the work.

The content has been my favourite to date, so for this month’s takeover, I wanted to share three of my biggest takeaways:

1. Use setting to convey emotion.

When I first started writing, I would write out a scene based on what I thought the reader needed to picture it. This is fine and does the job well enough. But I’ve since realised that setting can do so much more! When you start to think about questions like; ‘What would your character notice in the setting, given their current emotional state?’ and ‘How would they interact with this setting based on their feelings?’, you start to get some really interesting answers. When you write these answers, a clever thing happens. You a) show the character’s feelings without naming them and b) get across setting without loads of exposition. It’s a win-win situation!  

2. Know what a character would show vs. hide 

Sometimes, a character’s feelings will match their outward presentation exactly, but that is often not the case. Characters and emotions begin to feel especially real in those moments of discrepancy – e.g. the man telling his wife that he’s fine, while his fingers tighten around the cutlery and his foot taps beneath the table. We know he’s not fine, but we don’t need to be told. That tension sparks intrigue, particularly if we don’t have context. Now add in what happens when his best friend asks him if he’s fine? Does he react differently? Showing not only character emotions but how they choose to conceal or reveal them adds so much depth! 

3. Use ‘showing’ to immerse the reader – but with intention! 

All the things that make for good ‘showing’ – sensory details, actions, sometimes dialogue – throw the reader right into your scene. This is great BUT must be used with intention. The ‘show don’t tell’ advice could be misconstrued as meaning a story should be all show. If that were the case, we could struggle to move through plot. Showing – especially with senses – can slow down writing. Just getting the character some breakfast could be a five-page description of cereal tumbling out of the packet and the gentle cascade of milk into the bowl. If this is crucial to your story, great. If it’s not, we don’t need to hang around. We probably don’t even need to know they’ve had breakfast; we’ll probably just assume it. 

Showing is excellent for the moments when you want the reader to linger. Big twists, revelations, gut-punching news, the moment when the enemies finally FINALLY become lovers and all that yearning pays off. Showing makes for a great reader experience, but it’s not the answer to everything. For things like moving swiftly from one scene to another – a different time period, a different setting – sometimes telling works better.

In other course news, I’ve completed the first draft of my psychological thriller – woohoo! The structure of the course, the learning topics and regular meetings have all spurred me on to make progress. In the past, edits have been a daunting prospect, but using takeaways like the ones above, I know I’ll be going in much better prepared. Also, having monthly feedback from my tutor and weekly feedback from the tutor group on the Ultimate Novel Writing Programme means there have been more eyes on this first draft than any other before. This is so reassuring! Suffice to say, I’m much less frightened of the edits stage now!

So – my one piece of advice from this month? Look at where you convey emotion in your writing and play about with how you can use ‘showing’ devices to really draw this out. As always, and most importantly, remember to have fun with it!

Want to follow in Rachel’s footsteps? You can learn more about the Ultimate Novel Writing Programme and how it can help you on your writing journey.