Playing footsie with agents

Ah, me, elsewhere in the world, people take holidays. They lie on beaches, they swim in lakes and rivers, they drink chilled wine looking out at old castle walls and honeyed stone.

That is not the life of a writer, nor should it be. For you, my dear writer friend, the way is hard, high and stony. August is the season where you feverishly complete, edit and perfect that manuscript of yours. September is when you aim to submit that beautiful work to literary agents – after they have enjoyed their holidays, and before they plunge into the madness of the Frankfurt Book Fair.

But Planet Agent is not your planet and you need to know the rules of that strange land before you seek to enter.

How many agents?

I generally recommend that you approach between 10 and 12 agents, all chosen for their openness to your kind of writing. I think it makes sense to have two or three relatively senior agents on that list. But I think the bulk of your list should probably be made up of younger, hungrier agents. (I tried dictating this email, and that sentence came out as ‘younger, Hungarian agents.’ And yes, I think every good shortlist needs a few Magyars.)

I really don’t recommend a strategy of just going out to 3-4 agents. There’s too high a risk that personal taste, or a period of intense busyness, means you will get rejections where you shouldn’t.

I also don’t like a strategy of just hitting 50 or more agents. I think that is needlessly burdensome on the industry. But even from your own point of view, if you need to go to 50 agents to get one acceptance, it’s worth pausing and asking whether the submission pack and manuscript needs another look. There just aren’t that many publishers out there, and publishers are even more choosy than agents. So, if you are not getting acceptances from the first 10-12 agents you approach, it may be worth taking another look.

How long to wait?

An Earth day lasts for 24 hours. A day on Jupiter lasts just 10 hours. A single day on Mercury lasts about 2 Earth-months. A single day on Venus lasts more like 8 months, which is why, when you meet Venusians, they’re always tired.

A day on Planet Agent sits somewhere between an Earth Day and a Mercury Day in terms of length – let’s say, around 3-6 earth days in total.

So when an agent asks you to wait 8 weeks to get back to you, you have to remember that in their world, that only feels like 1-2 weeks, which seems perfectly reasonable. Indeed, you should divide all agent-periods by a factor of between 3-6, and adjust your expectations accordingly.

All this is just to say that if you send a book off by 1 Sept, you shouldn’t fret at all if you’ve heard nothing back by 30 Sept.

Loads of agents now say, ‘If you haven’t heard from us within 8 weeks, then it’s a no.’ I do think that’s unacceptably sloppy, to be honest – agents in my view do have an obligation to the vast horde of unpublished writers who form the industry’s feedstock and future – but it is what it is. If an agent says that, then take them at face value. If they don’t mention a cut-off, then it’s OK to nudge gently, and only once, and not before 6-8 weeks.

The art of the nudge

If you’ve had no acceptance or full manuscript request, then your nudge needs to be a short, polite one-off. In effect, “I sent you X on Y date. I’d be very grateful if you could let me know your response. If I hear nothing back, I’ll assume the manuscript is not of interest.”

And honestly? Those nudges are not likely to be answered and seldom secure the outcome that you want. But sometimes you just need to nudge for your own sweet satisfaction.

Someone asks you for a full MS

If you have had a full manuscript request, things are very different. At that point, you fly into action. You write immediately to every other agent who is outstanding on your shortlist, and you say, in effect, “I have just received a full manuscript request from another literary agent. I remain keen to hear your thoughts. I have reattached my submission material here. Do let me know if this manuscript is of interest to you.”

That’s the nudge. Don’t nudge again. But it’s fine to do that. You should do it, indeed.

Someone offers you representation

If you have not merely had a request, but an offer of representation, then tell everyone that, apart from those who have positively rejected you, of course.

Again, the message is, “I’ve been offered representation. I remain very keen to hear from you, however. Please shift your ass and get back to me.” You may want to rephrase some parts of that, of course, but that’s the general gist.

Remember that your Goal #1 is to secure representation. If you hit that goal, you’ve won, but it might be a sketchy 1-0 win on a boggy pitch under fog. A win’s a win, of course, but really you want to secure Goal #2, which is a choice of agents.

If you’re doing work on your house, you might get quotes from 2-3 plumbers, 2-3 carpenters and so on. Only then, do you feel you have a reasonable chance of getting the work done and when and how you want. That should be your goal with agents too. You want to be in the position of interviewing them, not just swooning into their arms, like a giddy maiden with a too-tight corset.

More Etty Kett

I’ll do a second agent-etiquette email next week (or maybe the week after), so do please get back to me with any questions that you want answered.

And if you want to get a bit of an insider’s view before you start approaching agents, we also offer Agent One-to-One Feedback Sessions. By the way: this isn’t about getting an agent to represent you. It’s about making sure you’re putting your best possible submission in front of them when the time comes.

FEEDBACK FRIDAY / Query letters

Let’s see your query letter then. Doesn’t even matter if you’re not at the query stage. Just draft it up and let’s take a shufti.

(From Google, for baffled non-Brit readers: To “take a shufti” means to have a quick look or a brief glance at something. The phrase comes from Arabic military slang picked up by British, Australian, and New Zealand troops stationed in the Middle East.)

Upload your work here whenever you’re ready. 

Til soon.

Harry