Beta read of my first 3 chapters
been working on my travelog book. Hoping to have a solid first draft done by the end of the year. I have a few other chapters in the works but chapter 2 is feeling pretty rough and would like have some discussion on it to make it more easily digestible.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/10chnuw2bsNwlLssRqveQddGO0yhcVWYPVK8VqGRCAd4/edit?usp=sharing
Will have a read for sure 👍
Thank you
Thank you so much for your input I will do what I can to fix this. As stated, it’s still being worked for content and arranging the gear and what not to it’s appropriate place. I would like to target people who might be interested in making the hike as well as people who just are interested in the trail.
I was thinking of moving the leave no trace chapter to the rear and had thoughts on moving the gear chapter to the end as well maybe into the epilogue
Not really trying to go journal. I think that’s going to get corrected for in the draft review
I would like to thank you as your the first reader to give any actual input on its readability over the next week or so I’ll try to work on the things you mentioned.
Thanks!!!
That’s too bad 🙁
I think Connie’s comments are right and you really need to focus on exactly what you are wanting to do. At the moment it’s a rather odd combination, which I’m afraid is rather off-putting to anyone but the most committed reader. If you want to appeal to a wider audience, focusing on the story of your hike and tightening the writing up there will help. Moving the information on equipment to an appendix would be good, to be consulted by people who need it without interrupting the flow of the story. When you come to editing your writing, I’d suggest seeing how many words you can remove without substantially changing the meaning. Though it is obviously non-fiction, it still needs to read like a narrative and have the forward momentum of a story and I think condensing your writing will go some way towards improving this.
Love the input. I agree have been thinking of putting the more in-depth gear list and review as an amendment towards the back like I did with the leave no trace. Might get totally revamped all together after the rough draft is finished. If you have time could you leave an example or comment on the document itself on when I “jumped around”. Love the feedback and I’m working on making this a polished gem.
As it is for a nitche audience. The gear part has been both a 👍 and 👎🏼 Depending on the reader. So I know I need to do something more with. I agree it needs to tighten up, but at this point I think if I were to spend hours tightening up every paragraph final edit style I’d never get another paragraph written. I’ll leave that to my first round of edits. But if it’s jumpy or inconsistent that I do want to get corrected as soon as possible.
question on “focus on what I want to do… odd combination” please define. Thank you.
“question on “focus on what I want to do… odd combination” please define. Thank you”
What I mean is that I think this could be written either as a practical guide on how to prepare for such an adventure, structured for that purpose, with anecdotes from your own experience to illustrate your points. Or as a narrative telling the story of your own expedition, in which case the structure and thrust of the book will be very different (while still leaving space for some of the technical stuff as appendices or similar). Jumbling those two approaches together, as it currently reads, is likely to prove frustrating to a reader looking for either one of those books as they are detoured into territories they aren’t so interested in. I think you have the material to do either, so it’s really your choice. Making that decision and working on an appropriate structure that leads your readers forward will help enormously, I think.
I moved the bulk of chapter two towards the end. I’ll work on rewording what I left and expand that to more story telling. I agree that helps with flow.