#23765
Robert
thelma.sulzbach
Participant

Thanks again, Kate
Fixed the ‘mum’.
I know what you mean about the ‘arm around his shoulder’ thing. For a second, this morning, I had a flash as to the how a 9 year old might read it for the first time. This is a fantasy, after all, and thus primed, they might actually take the wind as a magical entity, with real arms. A nice idea, but not my intention.
The problem is, I use this kind of language throughout the book to add a ‘quirky’ element, to make the reader sit up, not dose off or be lazy. And also, to be a little ’poetic’. The trick is to nudge, rather than a slap, or douse with iced water. I am probably a little too close to the aquatic.
In the end, they are probably all ‘darlings’ that I need to kill. I am building up the courage.
Now all I have to do is apply yours and everyone else’s great comments to the other 45,000 words of the book. Might take a few days.
Bob