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  • Inner monologue

    Posted by Karen Vickers on 5 September 2024 at 01:43

    Good morning all,

    I am hoping to get some advice please. I am currently editing my book with an editor and she has made a few changes to my inner monologue sections, which has left me a bit confused (yes I have asked her to clarify things but yet to hear back).

    My book has a few characters, with the MC in 1st POV and all other characters in 3rd POV. Each chapter, is written in each characters perspective, as to where they are in the story time-line. My editor has changed my MC inner thoughts into italics, which I am okay with (I was writing them seamlessly into the story).

    But when she’s editing one of my other characters (the villain), who is in 3rd person, she changed his inner thoughts to 1st person, which confused me. On a few occasions, she has commented that I need to stick to one POV in each chapter, as I have mixed a few up, giving inner monologue to more than one, within that chapter, but then changes the POV for the villain.

    What is the correct or most accepted way to write inner monologue for 1st person? and would characters, written in 3rd person, have inner monologue? and how would that look. I thought the way I had written it, was correct, but am now doubting my writing skills. I am aware, I am still learning.

    Any advice would be much appreciated.

    Thanks.

    Libby Leyland replied 4 months ago 3 Members · 2 Replies
  • 2 Replies
  • Karmen Špiljak

    Member
    5 September 2024 at 09:01

    Hi Karen

    Italics are an established way to portray thoughts in fiction, although I’ve also noticed a trend in dropping them altogether. So, they’re not wrong, and probably a good idea if you write multiple POV, as they orientate and ground the reader.

    It’s also fine to have the thoughts written in 1st person when writing in Deep/close 3rd person POV, because that character would still think in 1st person, even if the chapter is narrated in the 3rd. However, if you’re using a limited 3rd POV instead of Deep/close 3rd, then the thoughts would be in third person and relayed to the reader by the narrator, not the character itself.

    Having said that, some authors break the rules on the last one and it works fine (e.g. they have italics and 1st person thoughts in limited 3rd POV).

  • Libby Leyland

    Member
    20 September 2024 at 10:39

    Hi Karen (Vickers)

    You’ve probably sorted this out with your editor by now but if not, Emma Darwin’s post about psychic distance https://emmadarwin.substack.com/p/psychic-distance-what-it-is-and-how

    will provide the answers for both 1st person/internal narrator and 3rd person.

    As a general rule (this is me, not Emma speaking) an internal narrator often drops the ‘I’ when revealing their thoughts. They’re the narrator of the scene/chapter/novel. All thoughts are bound to be their thoughts. ‘Outside it was raining. No washing on the line today then.’

    3rd person involves a more nuanced understanding of psychic distance but uses the same principles.

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