• Posted by Scott Samson on 18 October 2023 at 16:31

    This is the blub to my political thriller.

    Breaking the Oath of Turner Creek is a riveting espionage thriller that will leave readers on the edge of their seats. A decade ago, Sparrow, the brilliant and elusive spy, stumbled upon a sinister plot to assassinate the Australian Prime Minister. Now, haunted by his failures and determined to make things right, Sparrow is forced out of the shadows as he embarks on a treacherous mission to uncover the truth.

    As Sparrow delves deeper into the world of international intrigue, he finds himself entangled in a web of deception, betrayal, and deadly secrets. From the remote corners of Turner Creek to the corridors of power in Canberra, he must navigate a dangerous landscape where every step could be his last.

    With enemies lurking in every shadow, Sparrow races against time to unravel the conspiracy and protect not only the Prime Minister but also the fragile democracy he represents. As the truth slowly unravels, Sparrow realizes that he may have to sacrifice everything, including his own oath and the people he holds dear, to save his country from the devastating consequences that lie ahead.

    The clock is ticking, the stakes are higher than ever, and secrets that were meant to stay buried threaten to shake the foundations of a nation. In Breaking the Oath of Turner Creek, author Garth Hickman spins an electrifying tale of espionage, loyalty, and redemption that will leave readers begging for more.

    • This discussion was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by  Scott Samson. Reason: Update
    Harry Harrison replied 4 months ago 3 Members · 4 Replies
  • 4 Replies
  • Emily White

    Member
    18 October 2023 at 18:44

    Hi Scott! Is this a blurb as part of a query or is it a blurb of a self published book?

    • Scott Samson

      Member
      19 October 2023 at 00:32

      Self published

      • Emily White

        Member
        19 October 2023 at 04:32

        ah ok that explains the self promotion sentence so I guess keep them in :). I’ll give some subjective ideas that you can ignore. BTW I have a blurb on this thread too looking for feedback 🙂

        Breaking the Oath of Turner Creek is a riveting espionage thriller that will leave readers on the edge of their seats.

        >>Starting below

        A decade ago, Sparrow, the brilliant and elusive spy, stumbled upon a sinister plot to assassinate the Australian Prime Minister. Now, haunted by his failures and determined to make things right, Sparrow is forced out of the shadows as he embarks on a treacherous mission to uncover the truth.

        >> This is a bit vague, the first part “Now, haunted by his failures and determined to make things right, Sparrow is forced out of the shadows” works imo but imo specify what forces him out of the shadows (Or if it is the haunting of his failures that forces him out, specify that)

        As Sparrow delves deeper into the world of international intrigue, he finds himself entangled in a web of deception, betrayal, and deadly secrets. From the remote corners of Turner Creek to the corridors of power in Canberra, he must navigate a dangerous landscape where every step could be his last.

        >> Again this is subjective, but I would rather something shorter and more specific about 1-2 specific dangers he facts. I’m guessing as a spy he is always deep in an international world of intrigue entangled in a web of deception, betrayal and deadly secrets. What specifically ramps that up in this case. I get that your book probably relies on not giving too much away as it is a thriller, still if you can give more away without spoiling it I think it would be good. It reads a bit like a nice voiceover trailer for a tv series, but in that medium they have visual stimuli to compensate for the lack of info and can just use jam in emotional prompts.

        With enemies lurking in every shadow, Sparrow races against time to unravel the conspiracy and protect not only the Prime Minister but also the fragile democracy he represents. As the truth slowly unravels, Sparrow realizes that he may have to sacrifice everything, including his own oath and the people he holds dear, to save his country from the devastating consequences that lie ahead.

        >> The stakes are good (irrelevant side note, I’m curious which prime minister you’ve had in mind since we’ve had 7 recently :D). I think it would be nice to specify why there is a race against time if you can without spoiling

        The clock is ticking, the stakes are higher than ever, and secrets that were meant to stay buried threaten to shake the foundations of a nation.

          >> Remove “the stakes are higher than ever” since it flows better to go straight onto secrets. Ending above the self promo sentence 🙂
          In Breaking the Oath of Turner Creek, author Garth Hickman spins an electrifying tale of espionage, loyalty, and redemption that will leave readers begging for more.

        hope this helps. Good luck!

  • Harry Harrison

    Member
    28 October 2023 at 10:55

    Does Sparrow have a boss? An organisation?