The Emotions Cheat Sheet

When an author doesn’t pay attention to the advice to show, don’t tell, my jaw clenches, my face goes red, and the world knows that I’m angry without a narrator having to announce it.  

If you can show emotion, you can let your readers into your fictional world by allowing them to feel each win and loss alongside your character.  

So, I want to show you some examples of times a novelist used physical manifestations of emotion to let me into their character’s world.  

‘Dido’s laughter is contagious and soon they are both shaking, trying not to snort out loud, overtaken by hysteria. They clasp their hands around a pillar, swinging and leaning back, giggling like children. Neither care that they are attracting contemptuous stares, suddenly it doesn’t seem to matter.’ The Wolf Den by Elodie Harper, p.30 

Amara, the protagonist of The Wolf Den is a prostitute in Pompeii – she doesn’t have many happy moments. However, the female friendships in her life are a source of light, as is so clearly seen in this extract. Amara and Dido are caught up in laughter, and in this moment of happiness they lose their inhibitions, become confident in their expression of glee.  

Maybe your character can’t stop smiling (or must try and hide a smile). Their body language might become more confident. They might even share a hug, or a kiss, with another character. 

‘In the backyard, she fed the old dog his dinner. Her nostrils were rubbed raw. Her swollen eyelids ached.’ Damnation Spring by Ash Davidson, p.433 

I love this example, as Davidson doesn’t need to state that the character has been crying – we know, because we recognise the after-effects.  

Will you show your character crying? Describe the feeling of physical emptiness? Perhaps your character is so depressed they can’t get out of bed or look after themselves – do their unbrushed teeth feel tacky in their mouth? Have they sweated through the days-old clothes they’re wearing? When they do stand up, are their legs wobbly with misuse?  

‘I pressed my back to the wall and let it take my weight, body stiffened and one breath for each stair climbed. Floorboards creaked in the rooms above me. […] There was a noise behind me, at the other end of the landing. My heart beat in my skull and hands and stomach, and I held the door and turned across the hallway.’ Girl A by Abigail Dean, p.288 

This is an important one for crime and thriller writers: to be truly thrilled, a reader needs to feel the character’s fear. Reading this scene in Girl A, I had to cover half the page with my hand to make sure I didn’t – in my urgency to know what was happening – read ahead!  

Fear is a very physical thing: your heartbeat and your breathing speeds up, you sweat, you might begin to feel sick, even taste the bile in your mouth. Can you come up with a nervous tic that’s specific to your character? They might tug their fingers, play with their hair, jiggle a leg…  

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Now you know how to ensure that your reader knows what a character is feeling without needing to use the words ‘happy’, ‘sad’, ‘scared’, or ‘angry’. Take that knowledge off into the world – or your WIP – and see what magic it creates. 

Elsie