On Heads – Tilted Or Otherwise

Earlier today I posted a silly comment about tilted heads, having just uploaded a profile pic incorporating just such a cranial tilt of my own. But here’s the question: why did I select that picture? Why not go for an image more sternly vertical? Did I imagine it denoted, perhaps, a more considerate stance – more listening, more querying, more flexible, even – narrow the eyes – more wise?

To help find an answer I enlisted someone I could reasonably expect to maintain an upright head: The Incredible Hulk. What would it convey if he broke off from his green and rampaging endeavours to suddenly tilt his head sideways? Sarcasm, I’d expect – a bogus willingness to consider the other person’s point of view.

For instance:

Hulk (head at 10 angle): Would woo like-ums Hulk be more friendly now?

Snivelling Wrongdoer: Uh, yes please, ah, Mr Hulk.

Hulk  (head at 15angle): Hulk thinking… 

            (head at 20angle): Hulk consider… 

            (head snaps upright): Hulk decide.

Fist descends. Wrongdoer no longer capable of snivelling.

So there we are, Hulky says a tilted head equals thoughtfulness and consideration, no matter how temporary or unreliable.

And that’s very handy when we remember how useful body language can be to a writer. The gurus of ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ recommend ‘showing’ emotions via bodily gestures (ironically known as ‘tells’). Thus ‘Hulk was angry’ is less effective than ‘Hulk drummed his fingers’ (on the table edge, reducing it to splinters).

Fair enough, but here comes a question: which way should we tilt a character’s head? I used to know a bit about eloquent eye-directions. For instance, if we swivel the eyes leftwards it means ‘looking back, the past’ (I think) whereas swivelling the eyes rightwards means ‘looking forward, the future’. But might I be misremembering (my eyes failing to swivel sufficiently leftwards)?

There again, I have an even dimmer impression that one of these eye-directions means ‘dishonest answer’. I’ve forgotten which one (crap writer, me). Perhaps it’s looking down? Or up?

Anyway, let’s extrapolate to head tilts. Might a leftward tilt mean ‘looking back on a dishonest past’? Or should we bear in mind the observer effect – i.e. my right direction is the observer’s left, and thus our many leftward tilts on profile pics are actually rightward tilts and, hence, future orientated, honest and – well – downright admirable.

To clarify all this, I tried experimenting with different tilts in the mirror, and – quelle surprise! – the neck muscles said No. Only one direction allowed. Pourquoi, I wondered. Why can I only tilt to the right (observer’s left) with any ease? Have the muscles got fixed in position by my habitual sleep position? Incroyable, I’d have thought, cos that would mean many Townhouse newbies must be sleeping on the same side of the bed (are you?) and curled at the same angle (are you?) – so far as cramps, acid reflux, etc allow.

Let’s try another theory, then. How about compooter positioning? If we’re all right handed (are we?) then we’re likely to be stressing the same neck and shoulder muscles (and yes, folks, those muscles really can grumble, can’t they?) (and no, left handed mousing is never so convincing) (it’s that middle finger – can’t waggle the double-click fast enough). But here’s the question: have we forced a specific head-tilt directional bias on ourselves because of how we sit at our pooters whilst pooting?

Obviously we require a control-group of left-handed poot-people to upload their own head-tilt photos so we can – scientifically – decide if writing selectively withers neck muscles on the mouse-guiding side. Or not.

It’s a noble endeavour, seeking scientific truths, and we should not hesitate to follow the scope of our enquiries, to gaze nobly into the future (whichever side it may reside), to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield (I nicked that last bit from Tennyson). (Ulysses.)

*****

And thus concludes my inaugural Townhouse blog. It is to be hoped I come out with something more sober and grown-up next time…