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Late nights and leakages

Late nights and leakages

I had plans for today, plans that involved some interesting and actually useful work.

But –

Our boiler sprang a leak. Even with the mains water turned off, it went on leaking through the night. Finding an engineer who could come out today (for a non-insane price) took the first half hour this morning. The engineer is coming at 3.30, and that’ll eat the last part of the day.

And –

I have a vast number of kids: four, in theory, but most days it seems like a lot more than that. And one of them, Lulu, spent most of the last couple of nights with, uh, a stomach upset. Of the intermittent but highly projectile variety.

So –

Not masses of sleep. And today’s interesting work plans have been kicked into next week.

Which bring us to –

You. Life. Books. Writing.

The fact is that even if you’re a pro author, life gets in the way of writing all the time. Because writing isn’t an office-based job, almost no writer I know keeps completely clean boundaries between work stuff and life stuff. Life intrudes all the time. Indeed, I know one author – a multiple Sunday Times top ten bestseller – whose somewhat less successful but office-based partner always just assumes that she’ll be the one to fix boilers, attend to puking children, etc, etc, just because she’s at home and not under any immediate (today, next day) deadline pressure.

And that’s a top ten bestseller we’re talking about. Most of you aren’t in that position. You’re still looking for that first book deal. The first cheque that says, “Hey, this is a job, not just a hobby.”

So Life vs Work?

Life is going to win, most of the time. And it’ll win hands down.

The broken boiler / puking kid version of life intrusion is only one form of the syndrome though. There’s one more specific to writers.

Here’s the not-yet-pro-author version of the syndrome, in one of its many variants: You have one book out on submission with agents. You keep picking at it editorially and checking your emails 100 times a day. But you also have 20,000 words of book #2 on your computer and though, in theory, you have time to write, you’re accomplishing nothing. You’re just stuck.

That feels like only aspiring authors should suffer that kind of thing, right? But noooooooo! Pro authors get the same thing in a million different flavours, courtesy of their publishers. Your editor quits. Your new editor, “really wants to take a fresh look at your work, so as soon as she’s back from holiday and got a couple of big projects off her desk …”. Or your agent is just starting new contract negotiations with your editor, and you are hearing alarmingly little for some reason. Or you know that your rom-com career is on its last legs, so you’re looking to migrate to domestic noir, but you don’t know if your agent / editor / anyone is that keen on the stuff you now write. Or …

Well, there are a million ors, and it feels like in my career I’ve experienced most of them. The simple fact is that creative work is done best with a lack of significant distractions and no emotional angst embedded in the work itself. Yet the publishing merry-go-round seems intent on jamming as much angst in there as it can manage, compounded, very often, by sloppy, slow or just plain untruthful communications.

So the solution is …?

Um.

Uh.

I don’t know. Sorry.

The fact is, these things are just hard and unavoidable. Priorities do get shifted. You can’t avoid it. The emotional strains of being-a-writer – that is, having a competitive and insecure job in an industry which, weirdly, doesn’t value you very highly – are going to be present whether you like them or not.

There have been entire months, sometimes, when I should have been writing, but accomplished nothing useful because of some publishing drama, which just needed resolution. No one else cared much about that drama, or at least nothing close to the amount I did, with the result that those things often don’t resolve fast.

Your comfort and shelter against those storms? Well, like I say, I don’t have any magical answers but, here, for what it’s worth, are some things which may help:

  1. Gin. Or cheap wine. Or whatever works. I favour beers from this fine brewery or really cheap Australian plonk. The kind you can thin paints with.
  2. Changing your priorities for a bit. So if you really needed to clear out the garage or redecorate the nursery, then do those things in the time you had thought you’d be writing. You’re not losing time; you’re just switching things around.
  3. Addressing any emotional/practical issues as fast and practically as you can. So let’s say you have book #1 out on submission, you can help yourself by getting the best version of that book out (getting our excellent editorial advice upfront if you need to.) You can make sure you go to a minimum of 10 agents, and probably more like 12-15. You can make sure those agents are intelligently chosen, and that your query letter / synopsis are all in great shape. (see the PSes for a bit more on this.) You can write yourself a day planner, that gives some structure to the waiting process: “X agents queried on 1 May. Eight weeks later is 26 June. At that point, I (a) have an agent, (b) send more queries, (c) get an editor to look at my text, or (d) switch full-steam to the new manuscript.” If you plan things like that upfront, you don’t have to waste a bazillion hours crawling over the same questions in your head.
  4. Accepting the reality. It’s just nicer accepting when things are blocked or too busy or too fraught. The reality is the same, but the lived experience is nicer. So be kind to yourself.
  5. Find community. Yes, your partner is beautiful and adorable and the joy of your life. But he/she isn’t a writer. So he/she doesn’t understand you. Join a community (like ours). Make friends. Share a moan with people who know exactly what you mean. That matters. It makes a difference.
  6. Enjoy writing. This is the big one, in fact. The writers who most struggle with their vocation are the ones who like having written something, but don’t actually enjoy writing it. And I have to say, I’ve never understood that. My happiest work times have nearly always been when I’m throwing words down on a page, or editing words I’ve already put there. And that pleasure means you keep on coming back to your manuscript whenever you can. And that means it gets written. And edited. And out to agents or uploaded to KDP and sold.

Of those six, then cultivating that happiness is the single biggest gift you can give yourselves.

And the gin, obviously.

Harry

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Responses

  1. This is definitely an encouraging email to read after a week of life- crises that took over writing time. Think it might be time to try the gin. But really, it makes it more palatable to know that other people struggle with the life-work balance when you’re writing from home, and that other people’s spouses expect them to deal with the life stuff first! (But at least they step up to handle the household in the evening so I can get writing in then.)

    Also, I picked up a copy of your book on writing last week, Harry, “The Writers and Artists Guide to How to Write,” and really enjoyed your advice there. Glad you mentioned it in one of your recent emails. Thank you!

  2. I’m not sure that advising aspiring writers to start drinking is a good idea…      To be honest life has been smacking me upside the head a lot lately and it has been really helpful, because then I can go write about my characters feeling helpless, feeling overwhelmed, feeling lost, financially scared, feeling all kinds of things.

    I’m a believer in using what you get handed and if you can use a bad day to write even a few hundred words, or even a line of how it feels to go under as life’s waves seem to push you down I think you’ve really mined the gold out of the situation. 

    1. I agree with you 100%. Well expressed. The hardships and struggles are just as valid a part of our lives as the joy and successes. Both can and should be learned from, and turning to alcohol as a soother for the heart and soul is far from healthy or ideal. It only hides and masks when these are invaluable experiences that make you know what it is to be human.

  3. Spot on, Harry. We’ve all been there! U.S. writer Grace Paley said ‘Be interrupted’ thinking interruptions would only enrich the writing. I think there’s something wise in that, depending on what the interruptions are. Too many domestic emergencies can be very frustrating, but looking after family is necessary. Thanks for your insight, I hope Lulu is better.

  4. Well, I’m retired and the kids have left home. Sounds ideal, but no.

    After half-an-hour sitting at my keyboard, my wife says, “Are you going to sit there all day? Haven’t you finished that story yet? Do something useful, come and rub my shoulders.”

    And so the days goes, doing useful things!

  5. And then on Monday, after having posted this, life hit me upside the head so hard that I had to walk along the beach eating a tub of peanut butter ice cream – and it wasn’t small, it wasn’t vegan and it didn’t have a spoon.

    The thought of trying to write something halfway decent right now is laughable.

    I love a little video clip I saw of Elizabeth Gilbert talking about holing herself up in her little room and writing a book that was funny, crazy and the opposite of how she was feeling after losing her partner to cancer.  I know writing can also rescue you, but today I am being rescued by a nice long session of formatting and editing.

    x P

  6. Love the post, love the photo. LOVE that even Harry Bingham has his moments 😉

    I think I’m OK with 1 and 4, but need work on the others, so thanks for the push.