{"id":970322,"date":"2026-06-05T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-06-05T09:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/?p=970322"},"modified":"2026-06-05T10:01:02","modified_gmt":"2026-06-05T09:01:02","slug":"why-cliffhangers-are-rubbish-and-what-to-do-instead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/why-cliffhangers-are-rubbish-and-what-to-do-instead\/","title":{"rendered":"Why cliffhangers are rubbish (and what to do instead)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The term cliffhanger derives from a famous scene in a Thomas Hardy novel, A Pair of Blue Eyes<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, I should probably say upfront that I think the novel is bad, the scene in question is worse, and that Hardy himself is monstrously overrated as a writer. If those thoughts mark me down as a Literary Infidel, then by all means print off this email, so you can tear it to shreds with your teeth, and shriek around your local shopping centre denouncing me and mine to everyone you meet. [Statutory warning<\/em><\/strong>: actually doing this may cause you some difficulty with your local mental health services. You do it at your own risk.<\/em>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s what happens. (Because Hardy is extremely verbose, I\u2019ve edited sharply to stop your eyes boiling in your head.) The hero is Mr Knight, and he\u2019s at the tippy-top edge of a cliff, along with the lovely (but really quite useless) Elfride.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By an ill fate, the force downwards of her bound, added to [Knight\u2019s] own weight, had been too much for the block of quartz upon which his feet depended \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It moved. Knight seized a tuft of sea-pink with each hand.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The quartz rock which had been his salvation was worse than useless now. It rolled over, out of sight \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the tufts by which he held came out at the root, and Knight began to follow the quartz. It was a terrible moment. Elfride uttered a low wild wail of agony, bowed her head, and covered her face with her hands.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Between the turf-covered slope and the gigantic perpendicular rock intervened a weather-worn series of jagged edges, forming a face yet steeper than the former slope. As he slowly slid inch by inch upon these, Knight made a last desperate dash at the lowest tuft of vegetation–the last outlying knot of starved herbage ere the rock appeared in all its bareness. It arrested his further descent. Knight was now literally suspended by his arms<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019d think that Elfride\u2019s job was now rather obvious: help her buddy from an obvious death. But she\u2019s useless and Knight isn\u2019t much better. Here\u2019s Hardy in action again:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A minute–perhaps more time–was passed in mute thought by both. On a sudden the blank and helpless agony left her face. She vanished over the bank from his sight.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Quite why any pair of idiots would be so clownish as to pass a minute or more doing nothing and formulating no plan is left unclear. Perhaps the best thing would have been for the two of them to jump off the cliff together and save the world from some quite questionable DNA.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, that\u2019s not what happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next chapter opens with over two thousand words (Two! Thousand! Words!) of reflection of trilobites and much else. Then it turns out that Elfride has taken her greatly-skirted underthings off and is proposing to knot it into a rope. There follows the normal unhurried discussion of these things. (\u2018Now,’ said Knight \u2026, ‘I can hold three minutes longer yet. And do you use the time in testing the strength of the knots, one by one.’<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then the rescue is effected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A glorious narrative technique propelling the reader further and faster through the book?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or a horrible mess?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t, in all honesty, think there\u2019s any real defence of the writing. I think, even taking period into account, it\u2019s just bad prose. (You\u2019re welcome to disagree.) But on the cliffhanger technique, I think:<\/p>\n\n\n\n