{"id":817210,"date":"2025-08-15T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-08-15T09:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/?p=817210"},"modified":"2025-08-19T10:28:42","modified_gmt":"2025-08-19T09:28:42","slug":"a-seriously-out-of-place-air-stewardess","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/a-seriously-out-of-place-air-stewardess\/","title":{"rendered":"A seriously out-of-place air stewardess"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Last week, someone suggested an email commenting on Kurt Vonnegut\u2019s rules for writing. That seemed like a Bloody Good Idea to me, so here goes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"1\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>That rule, I think, is bomb-proof. And, in fact, I\u2019d make it a little stricter. I think that even high-end literary fiction <em>has to entertain<\/em>. It can\u2019t be enough that I have a sense of having done my duty by the Gods of Literature. I need to have had fun \u2013 or have been moved \u2013 or basically just liked my experience with the book. I think entertainment is core. I\u2019ve never knowingly broken that rule, not even writing non-fiction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"2\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve never broken that rule either, but I think it\u2019s probably possible to break it effectively. <em>American Psycho<\/em> is a yukky book, but it\u2019s a work of proper genius \u2026 and its genius isn\u2019t because&nbsp; its protagonist likes home-baking, cat rescue and volunteering at church-run soup kitchens. That said, it\u2019s not even 1% of books that can break that rule effectively. So as a general guide, I\u2019m with you, Kurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"3\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Every<\/em> character? I don\u2019t know. If your protagonist has a momentary interaction with a receptionist, say, then does the receptionist need obvious motivation? On the one hand, no: truly minor characters can simply fall off the table of things you have to think about. On the other hand, here\u2019s a snippet where Fiona does in fact interact extremely briefly with a receptionist \u2013 at a modern, ultra-secure, psychiatric institution for very violent, very dangerous offenders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>The driver takes us in. Hands us over to a neat, blue-suited receptionist \u2013 Alys, to go by her fabric badge. She is almost blushingly young, a late teenager at a guess. She wears a tri-coloured scarf, like a seriously out-of-place air stewardess.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u2018Inspector Rogers? Miss Griffiths? Etta is expecting you.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>The \u2018Etta\u2019 in question is, I assume Dr. Etta Gulleford, the hospital director, and the woman we\u2019re here to see.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>No badges, I think because the metal clips could make a weapon. Instead, plastic cards, like the key-cards they use in hotels.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u2018Upstairs. Right on to the end. Julie-Ann will find you there.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>She does a crinkle-eyed smile at us, the sort you\u2019d get at an upmarket spa<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s no obvious sense of desire there, of wanting something \u2026 but on the other hand, I think there probably IS something. She\u2019s blushingly young. She wears a scarf like an out-of-place stewardess. And she offers Fiona a spa-quality, crinkle-eyed smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What does all that amount to? I think it amounts to the Alys very much wanting Fiona not to make a fuss. Not to do something that breaks the spell. And the spell is, effectively, that this place can be considered like a nice, posh, modern spa rather than a quasi-prison full of extremely dangerous men. It\u2019s like Alys is saying \u2013 pleading \u2013 don\u2019t call this out for what it really is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, OK, I\u2019m going to go with Vonnegut on this one. Even extremely minor characters should have some kind of want, even if it\u2019s undeclared, even if it\u2019s trivial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"4\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Every sentence must do one of two things\u2014reveal character or advance the action.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s probably mostly true, but it can\u2019t be quite literally true. I think that, in the passage I just quoted, every sentence does do one of those two things. But what about this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>We watch for a while. The gulls. The waves. The rolling print of the wind on the water. Stippling squalls that turn the sea\u2019s smooth watercolour into something jumpy and agitated, like the surface has been rubbed with gorse.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s not really advancing any action and it doesn\u2019t really tell us much about Fiona, except I suppose glancingly, in the sense that the way she expresses what she sees would be different from yours or mine. But really, the point about those lines is that they describe something \u2013 they reveal the character of a place, not a person. That\u2019s fine with me. I expect Kurt wouldn\u2019t have a fight with me over lines like that. I like description. It\u2019s fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"5\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Start as close to the end as possible.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Vonnegut thought a lot about short stories and I think this rule applies both to short stories and to scenes. Enter late. It\u2019s really easy to write 200 words of intro before you get to the meat of a scene. It\u2019s often better to start with the meat, then use just 20-30 words a few paragraphs in to explain to the reader how they got to where they now are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But does this rule make sense for novels? Don\u2019t think so \u2013 or at least, I don\u2019t think that it\u2019s especially useful. Most of my Fiona novels start with a corpse discovery. Yes, that\u2019s as close to the end \u201cas possible\u201d, but really: it\u2019s right at the start. So: useful rule for scenes. Silly rule for books.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"6\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them\u2014in order that the reader may see what they are made of.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Oh yes. Definitely. No quibbles here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here at Jericho, we occasionally get books that tell a story such as: middle aged woman divorces cheating husband, feels a lack of purpose, gets diagnosed with cancer, takes up pottery, makes great ceramics, meets dashing ceramicist, gets the cancer all clear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And, yeah, OK. I mean: in an actual person\u2019s life, that\u2019s all bad (to start with) then heartwarming (to end with.) But we all know people with stories like that. And \u2013 readers don\u2019t care. They want really bad stuff to happen to characters. They\u2019re sadists. So you have to be too. That\u2019s just how it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"7\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes. I agree with that. (It\u2019s also, by the way, an exceptionally good rule for marketing books too. Sell hard to your ideal reader. Bore the rest. Ignore the rest.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But I think it\u2019s not clear enough. Who is that person? In the end, there\u2019s only one person who matters and that\u2019s you. Every line you write, every word choice you make, you\u2019re just asking the question: do I like this? Or that? Which pleases me more?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So your task as a writer is to develop your tastes as far and as finely as possible. You can\u2019t&nbsp; do that in isolation from the broad sweep of contemporary writing. You have to develop your own taste with reference to what others read. But still \u2013 write to please just one person. And make it you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"8\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages<\/strong>.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Uh, Kurt? This is just BS, and he surely knew it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I mean the cockroaches \/ pages thing: OK, yes, at that point, I think there is often a kind of solid inevitability in play \u2026 but not always. In one of my Fiona books, Fiona ends up clapping handcuffs on the dastardly people who tried to imprison her (in a very weird way.) That part plays out as the reader should by then expect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But then, a Ukrainian millionaire tries to bribe her \u2026 and she (in a Fiona-y way) semi-accepts the offer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And a girl who went missing needs to be reunited with her father, and Fiona does just that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Both of those things make sense from what went before, but I don\u2019t think any reader could plausibly have mapped out either scene. So, sorry, Kurt, no way. I think you were having a laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Vonnegut, also said:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The greatest American short story writer of my generation was Flannery O&#8217;Connor (1925-1964). She broke practically every one of my rules but the first. Great writers tend to do that.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And yes, that\u2019s true too. If you grip the reader and entertain the reader, all the other guidance is just a means to that end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>FEEDBACK FRIDAY \/ a tri-colour scarf<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I think Kurt has given us the theme for this week. What I want is an interaction between your protagonist and a really minor character \u2013 someone who has maybe a line or two of dialogue in the entire book. Let\u2019s take a look at whether that minor character expresses some kind of want \u2013 not directly, necessarily, but in some way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My snippet above was about 100 words in total. You can either give me a 200-ish snippet or 2x 100-worders. The ideal response will have one or two ultra short snippets, each involving a really minor character, and we&#8217;ll feel some pressure of desire from that minor character, even if they say nothing about it. Please post in this <a href=\"https:\/\/myjericho.jerichowriters.com\/forums\/forum\/feedback-friday\/15-august-2025\/\">Townhouse forum<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Til soon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Harry<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last week, someone suggested an email commenting on Kurt Vonnegut\u2019s rules for writing. That seemed like a Bloody Good Idea to me, so here goes. That rule, I think, is bomb-proof. And, in fact, I\u2019d make it a little stricter. I think that even high-end literary fiction has to entertain. It can\u2019t be enough that<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":815759,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29292],"tags":[29304,29283,275],"class_list":["post-817210","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-harrys-friday-email","tag-writing-rules","tag-character","tag-feedback"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Jericho Writers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/a-seriously-out-of-place-air-stewardess\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A seriously out-of-place air stewardess &#8211; Jericho Writers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Last week, someone suggested an email commenting on Kurt Vonnegut\u2019s rules for writing. 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I've published trad &amp; self-pub. Love both. Best known for my Fiona Griffiths crime series. Oh yes, and I'm the capo di tutti capi at Jericho Writers.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/author\/harryjericho\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Jericho Writers","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/a-seriously-out-of-place-air-stewardess\/","og_locale":"en_GB","og_type":"article","og_title":"A seriously out-of-place air stewardess &#8211; Jericho Writers","og_description":"Last week, someone suggested an email commenting on Kurt Vonnegut\u2019s rules for writing. That seemed like a Bloody Good Idea to me, so here goes. That rule, I think, is bomb-proof. And, in fact, I\u2019d make it a little stricter. I think that even high-end literary fiction has to entertain. 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