{"id":6856,"date":"2022-08-05T13:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-08-05T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/townhouse\/articles\/fake-mouldings-potted-palms\/"},"modified":"2022-08-05T13:00:00","modified_gmt":"2022-08-05T12:00:00","slug":"fake-mouldings-potted-palms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/fake-mouldings-potted-palms\/","title":{"rendered":"Fake mouldings, potted palms"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Last week, I wrote a \u2018<a href=\"https:\/\/community.jerichowriters.com\/page\/view-post?id=537\" class=\"bx-link\">Pears, walnuts, blue cheese<\/a>\u2019 email, the gist of which was that if you need to characterise a minor character fast, you just choose a very small handful of ingredients \u2013 three or four. You lay those in front of your reader. Then move on.<\/p>\n<p>I illustrated the notion with a very short \u2013 200 word \u2013 scene that characterised a woman (Marianna) by calling attention to:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>The room (luxurious and aesthetically considered)<\/li>\n<li>Her appearance (slim and aesthetically considered)<\/li>\n<li>Her politeness<\/li>\n<li>The hollowness of that politeness \u2013 the real relationship here is that of master\/servant, with Marianna very much in the former role<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The scene, obviously, gets its zing from the contrast between the third and fourth bullet points there, but I did also say that you can apply the same basic technique to pretty much anything, including scene description.<\/p>\n<p>To prove it, let\u2019s take this really tiny description (from the same book, <em>This Thing of Darkness<\/em>.)<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>I meet Carolyn Sharma, Livesey\u2019s fianc\u00e9e. We meet in the lobby of my hotel, drink coffee, decaf in my case. The hotel is nice. Cheap, of course \u2013 police budgets aren\u2019t designed to support long haul travel \u2013 but nice. The lobby is black and white and a soft coffee-tinted cream. Fake colonial mouldings and potted palms. Sharma wears khaki shorts, boat shoes, and a blue linen shirt, the colour of the sky.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s 70 words long. The first sentence is just a statement about what\u2019s happening: it\u2019s not a description of anything. The second sentence just says where we are: again, it\u2019s not actually descriptive. Then there are 35 words from \u201cthe hotel is nice\u201d to \u201cpotted palms\u201d which do constitute description, before the paragraph ends by turning its attention to the person again.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s terribly little there. If we unpack it, we have:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Nice<\/li>\n<li>Cheap<\/li>\n<li>Colours (black, white and coffee-tinted cream)<\/li>\n<li>Colonial mouldings<\/li>\n<li>Potted palms<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>There\u2019s no real zing in that description, the way there was with the one of Marianna.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s easy to think that must be bad. (&#8220;<em>No zing? But that means you\u2019ve just bored the reader with some pedestrian text. Shouldn\u2019t everything be zingy? Where\u2019s my zing?&#8221;)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>On the other hand, this is 35 words in a 115,000 word book. And whereas, in the Marianna scene from last week, it did matter who Marianna was, here it truly doesn\u2019t matter where Fiona and Sharma meet. We\u2019re not going to be in this place again. Nothing really consequential happens here. They happen to meet in a hotel lobby, but could meet in a sitting room, or a coffee shop or, indeed anywhere.<\/p>\n<p>But the reader still needs something. Suppose the scene ran like this:<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>I meet Carolyn Sharma, Livesey\u2019s fianc\u00e9e. We meet in the lobby of my hotel, drink coffee, decaf in my case. The hotel is cheap but nice. Sharma wears khaki shorts, boat shoes, and a blue linen shirt, the colour of the sky.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>You could, in theory, run the rest of the scene from that introduction, but the effect would be placeless \u2013 absent \u2013 unreal.<\/p>\n<p>In a way, you could argue that that shouldn\u2019t matter. The key here is the conversation between Fiona and Sharma, nothing to do with where they met. But placelessness affects everything. If the reader doesn\u2019t feel themself to be in a real place, everything that follows will be drained of reality Our manuscript assessment team sometimes get manuscripts like that \u2013 entire books that almost seem to be set in a blank white room. Those books always fail because they never fully engage the reader. You have to encourage the reader to get on the train before the train can move them anywhere.<\/p>\n<p>So this tiny little description of mine scatters just enough ingredients to give that air of reality. Cheap-but-nice hotel lobby. Black, white, cream. Fake mouldings, potted palms. That\u2019s enough to ground the reader, to give them some sense of real people in a real place. And that \u2013 for in inconsequential scene like this \u2013 is all you need.<\/p>\n<p>My description, please note, follows the \u201cthree or four ingredients\u201d rule economically, then exits. Bingo.<\/p>\n<p>Incidentally, it\u2019s also worth addressing a concern that afflicts a lot of writers (and not only amateurs.) Writers often think, \u201cIf I\u2019m describing something, doesn\u2019t my description have to be, you know, <em>useful<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And the answer to that is no. My little scene offers almost nothing of value to someone actually wanting to visualise the room, in the sense of finding it on a map, sketching a rough layout, or anything else. The hotel I\u2019m describing is in Norfolk, Virginia, but I don\u2019t:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Say where in the town it is<\/li>\n<li>What the street view outside is like<\/li>\n<li>Where the hotel reception is or what it looks like<\/li>\n<li>Whether there are sofas or chairs or beanbags or tables or nothing at all<\/li>\n<li>Whether it\u2019s busy or not busy<\/li>\n<li>What\u2019s black, what\u2019s white, what\u2019s coffee-coloured<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And so on. If you were trying to specify a location for an actual human to find and identify, you\u2019d have to supply those details \u2013 but you aren\u2019t and you don\u2019t. It doesn\u2019t matter how much you leave out. The more, the better. You can ignore the practical elements of your description almost completely.<\/p>\n<p>So for really simple, boring, don\u2019t-matter-at-all descriptions, I think you can use the three to four ingredient rule and be done with it.<\/p>\n<p>Where you want a bit more of an emotional flavour to the description, then you use the same technique \u2013 but throw in a bit more zing.<\/p>\n<p>Here, for example, is a tiny vignette in a London coffee shop, where Fiona is meeting an expert witness:<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>\u2018Who cares, right?\u2019 [says Willans, a telecoms expert]<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>\u2018Yes. Who the hell cares?\u2019 [says Fiona.]<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>All enquiries have their moments like these. That sense that an important truth is here, lurking somewhere in <strong>this coffee-scented steam<\/strong>, this <strong>pinboard wall flapping with student posters<\/strong>. A truth that might just jump up and settle if only I knew what to ask \u2013 and how to recognise it when it arrived.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Again, there\u2019s almost nothing descriptive there, except the bold-highlighted elements both suggest something confusing and hard to see. Steam blurs things. If it\u2019s coffee-scented than that\u2019s somehow a sideways pull on your attention. A pinboard wall flapping with posters means that any individual element is hard to pick out and understand.<\/p>\n<p>Partly that hard-to-see theme reflects the current murkiness of the enquiry. But it also reflects Fiona herself \u2013 her always fragile mental health, a theme that recurs at the end of the scene.<\/p>\n<p>Note though that the three or four ingredients rule is still doing its stuff: coffee + steam + notices on a pinboard.<\/p>\n<p>Note too that I\u2019ve still told you very little about the coffee shop. (How many tables? How busy? View outside? Size?) The little bits I\u2019ve given the reader are enough to make the scene rooted, not placeless.<\/p>\n<p>Finally note that your zing \u2013 the little bit of remarkable \u2013 can come from anywhere. Last week, it came from the clash between surface politeness and no real politeness at all. This week it arose by offering descriptors that both referenced visual confusion \u2013 mirroring both the investigation and Fiona\u2019s headspace.<\/p>\n<p>The sweet joy of writing is its extraordinary versatility. Metaphor and meaning are scrambling to get into your manuscript at every pore. Your job is just to marshal the sluice gets to determine what does and does not get admittance.<\/p>\n<p>Pears, walnuts, blue cheese: it\u2019s the formula that keeps giving.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last week, I wrote a \u2018Pears, walnuts, blue cheese\u2019 email, the gist of which was that if you need to characterise a minor character fast, you just choose a very small handful of ingredients \u2013 three or four. You lay those in front of your reader. Then move on. I illustrated the notion with a<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":6857,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29292],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6856","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-harrys-friday-email"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Jericho Writers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/fake-mouldings-potted-palms\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Fake mouldings, potted palms &#8211; Jericho Writers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Last week, I wrote a \u2018Pears, walnuts, blue cheese\u2019 email, the gist of which was that if you need to characterise a minor character fast, you just choose a very small handful of ingredients \u2013 three or four. 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I've published trad &amp; self-pub. Love both. Best known for my Fiona Griffiths crime series. Oh yes, and I'm the capo di tutti capi at Jericho Writers.","url":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/author\/harryjericho\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6856","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/32"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6856"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6856\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6857"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6856"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6856"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6856"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}