{"id":6113,"date":"2020-03-06T11:40:00","date_gmt":"2020-03-06T11:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/townhouse\/articles\/writing-flat-and-writing-deep\/"},"modified":"2020-03-06T11:40:00","modified_gmt":"2020-03-06T11:40:00","slug":"writing-flat-and-writing-deep","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/writing-flat-and-writing-deep\/","title":{"rendered":"Writing flat and writing deep"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The book I\u2019m reading in the bath at the moment is the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.vulture.com\/2020\/02\/american-dirt-book-controversy-explained.html\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"bx-link\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\">controversial<\/a> <em>American Dirt<\/em>. The controversy is a bit silly, I think, but I\u2019m not going to talk about that here. Rather, what I want to look at is two different ways of writing.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s one way. The excerpt comes from the very start of the book \u2013 the mother (Mami) shoving her boy (Luca) towards safety during an attack on their home:<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>Her hands are not gentle; she propels him towards the shower. He trips on the raised tile step and falls forwards onto his hands. Mami lands on top of him and his teeth pierce his lip in the tumble. He tastes blood. One dark droplet makes a tiny circle of red against the bright green shower tile. Mami shoves Luca into the corner. There\u2019s no door on this shower, no curtain. It\u2019s only a corner of his abuela\u2019s bathroom, with a third tiled wall built to suggest a stall. This wall is around five and a half feet high and three feet long \u2013 just large enough, with some luck, to shield Luca and his mother from sight. Luca\u2019s back is wedged, his small shoulders touching both walls. His knees are drawn up to his chin, and Mami is clinched around him like a tortoise\u2019s shell. The door of the bathroom is open, which worries Luca.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Now, it\u2019s not just the content there which strongly suggests a thriller. The prose does too. In fact, this chunk has all the flavour of Modern American Thriller \u2013 clean, deft, unyielding. Writers in other genres and from other countries sometimes write this way, but there\u2019s no question that American writers first constructed this way of writing and that they\u2019re still the best at delivering it.<\/p>\n<p>But before we discuss it in detail, let\u2019s try to understand the beast. The writing involved in this MAT standard is typically:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Present tense<\/strong>.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Factual<\/strong> and <strong>declarative<\/strong> \u2013 not many qualifications or uncertainties.<\/li>\n<li>Sentences are typically <strong>short<\/strong>.<\/li>\n<li>Vocabulary is typically <strong>uncomplicated<\/strong>.<\/li>\n<li>Point of view is often <strong>objective<\/strong> rather than personal. There are only two phrases in this passage which identify Luca as the point-of-view character (\u201cHe tastes blood\u201d and \u201cwhich worries Luca\u201d.) Mostly, the viewpoint feels neutral and external.<\/li>\n<li>Centred on <strong>factual \/ physical reportage<\/strong>, rather than emotional \/ intellectual reflection<\/li>\n<li>A <strong>collage of one-off snapshots<\/strong>, more than a broadly connected picture. So if you look at the passage above, you could remove almost any sentence or clause and leave the rest of it undamaged. So \u201cHe tastes blood\u201d stands alone \u2013 a specific snapshot of a specific sensation. Yes, the sentence makes sense given what has immediately gone before, but you could remove this sentence and the passage would still make perfect sense. That\u2019s true, give or take, of nearly all of it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It\u2019s pretty obvious why thrillers work well this way. There\u2019s something uncompromising in this kind of language. Something warriorlike. In battle, there\u2019s no room for complex reflection or sifting through of what-ifs and maybes. You just need facts. You need to remove emotion from those facts. You tell it like it is.<\/p>\n<p>There is a kind of simplicity in this writing, but there\u2019s a simplicity in the workings of a well-made handgun too. It\u2019s the same kind of simplicity and has nothing to do with a lack of sophistication. George Pelecanos is a particular adept, but there are plenty of others. It\u2019s like these authors have taken the lessons of Hemingway and Chandler and polished them up into a silver pebble, round and indivisible.<\/p>\n<p>But that\u2019s not the only way to write. Here\u2019s how you could take the same material and deliver it in a way that largely breaks those MAT rules:<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>With ungentle hands, she propelled him towards the shower. Clumsy with shock, and her attention still pulled to the sounds of the intruders outside, she misjudged things, or Luca did. He tripped on the green tiled step and fell forwards, face-first, biting his lip in the tumble. Mami scooped him up and held him close, her body a shield for his. The blood from his lip looked astonishingly bright on the green tiles. Mami, automatically, wiped the blood away, but her thoughts were elsewhere. The shower had no door or curtain, only a low tiled wall that formed a kind of stall. It was pitifully little by way of hiding place. Nothing at all, by way of shelter.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>In that passage, the series-of-snapshots quality has largely gone. The sequence of actions and consequences is all made clearer and more smoothly joined. Mami pushes Luca. He trips. He cuts his lip. Mami cuddles him and wipes away the blood. They take stock of where they are, and its limitations. And the reflections \/ qualifications \/ uncertainties are there too. Why did Luca fall? Well, Mami \u2018misjudged things, or Luca did.\u2019 Reality isn\u2019t always quite clear, and this kind of writing picks up on those unclarities.<\/p>\n<p>Is that rewritten passage, better or worse? Well, neither really. It&#8217;s just different. Let\u2019s call this kind of prose writing deep rather than flat; the equivalent of painting with oils rather than acrylics.<\/p>\n<p>Very broadly speaking, the more character-centred your story, the more you will tend to paint with oils, the more you\u2019ll want to write deep.<\/p>\n<p>The more your interest is in action-reportage, and especially thriller-action reportage, the more you are likely to write flat.<\/p>\n<p>But you can mix them up. As your story floats in and out of reflective moments and action moments, you can adapt your prose style accordingly. Indeed, although I\u2019ve quoted Jeanine Cummins \/ <em>American Dirt<\/em> for this email, most of her book isn\u2019t really written in MAT. It\u2019s more character-led, more reflective.<\/p>\n<p>And if your story is mostly \u2018written deep\u2019, then passages of \u2018writing flat\u2019 will be that much more powerful, that much more shocking. Your action scenes will gain a sense of edge and that exciting lack of compromise. The mild disconnectedness between the sentences can almost suggest a mild shock or altered emotional response on the part of your protagonist. Those are things you can emphasise a bit with your dialogue and your character\u2019s other responses to the situation.<\/p>\n<p>My own writing borrows a lot from MAT and I have a lot of fun with it \u2013 including actual fun, as in making jokes. So here, for example, is my character, Fiona, who has just had an altercation with a couple of thugs. She\u2019s broken the jaw of one of them, then ran away. She\u2019s safe now, but in shock. She arrives at a bus-shelter, where there\u2019s a man also waiting:<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>\u2018Hi,\u2019 I say.<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>\u2018Hi.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>After a bit, he says, \u2018Are you all right?\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>I say, \u2018I don\u2019t know.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>I want to ask him to punch me on the arm, to see if I can feel anything, but I don\u2019t.<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>He smiles and shifts his weight.<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left:20px;\"><em>We stand there together until I see a taxi. I try to flag it down, but walk straight into the glass wall of the shelter instead. My bus-stop buddy does the honours, flags the taxi and sees me into it. He handles me as you\u2019d handle a figurine of antique china.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Nothing there says, \u2018I am in shock\u2019 yet Fiona\u2019s shock reverberates all through the passage. There\u2019s no obvious joke \/ punchline in the text, but Fiona\u2019s ability to walk straight into a glass wall is sort of funny all the same. Fiona doesn\u2019t directly reflect on how she must look or is behaving but, because the man asks \u2018Are you all right?\u2019, we understand that she must be giving off something quite odd.<\/p>\n<p>And so on.<\/p>\n<p>This kind of writing fun comes directly from the tools and resources of MAT \u2013 writing flat, not writing deep. (<a href=\"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/prose-style\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"bx-link\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\">More prose writing tips here<\/a>.)<\/p>\n<p>Have fun with it. Tomorrow week, Saturday 14th, I\u2019m <a href=\"https:\/\/members.jerichowriters.com\/bazaar\/self-publishing-event\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"bx-link\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\">going to be in London talking about self-publishing and author-led marketing generally<\/a>. We still have a few tickets left for that, so do come along if you can.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>But tell me: how do you write? Do you paint with oils or acrylics? Do you write flat or write deep? Or do you mix em up? Tell me what works for you, and let&#8217;s all have a Heated Debate.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The book I\u2019m reading in the bath at the moment is the controversial American Dirt. The controversy is a bit silly, I think, but I\u2019m not going to talk about that here. Rather, what I want to look at is two different ways of writing. Here\u2019s one way. The excerpt comes from the very start<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":6115,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29292],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6113","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-harrys-friday-email"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Jericho Writers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/writing-flat-and-writing-deep\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Writing flat and writing deep &#8211; Jericho Writers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The book I\u2019m reading in the bath at the moment is the controversial American Dirt. 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I've published trad &amp; self-pub. Love both. Best known for my Fiona Griffiths crime series. Oh yes, and I'm the capo di tutti capi at Jericho Writers.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/author\/harryjericho\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Jericho Writers","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/writing-flat-and-writing-deep\/","og_locale":"en_GB","og_type":"article","og_title":"Writing flat and writing deep &#8211; Jericho Writers","og_description":"The book I\u2019m reading in the bath at the moment is the controversial American Dirt. The controversy is a bit silly, I think, but I\u2019m not going to talk about that here. Rather, what I want to look at is two different ways of writing. Here\u2019s one way. 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I've published trad &amp; self-pub. Love both. Best known for my Fiona Griffiths crime series. Oh yes, and I'm the capo di tutti capi at Jericho Writers.","url":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/author\/harryjericho\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6113","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/32"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6113"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6113\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6115"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6113"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6113"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6113"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}