{"id":1026916,"date":"2026-11-05T15:40:48","date_gmt":"2026-11-05T15:40:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/?p=1026916"},"modified":"2026-11-05T20:35:34","modified_gmt":"2026-11-05T20:35:34","slug":"sprinting-with-sophistication-writing-with-care-and-editing-with-precision","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/sprinting-with-sophistication-writing-with-care-and-editing-with-precision\/","title":{"rendered":"Sprinting with Sophistication: Writing With Care And Editing with Precision"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How should you approach editing your work? Harry shares practical novel-writing tips on editing through examples of reducing overwriting, avoiding cliche and conveying ideas simply but effectively. <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This month we\u2019re doing writing sprints: boosting that word count, in company, so you get support and accountability. (<a href=\"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/the-jericho-writers-virtual-writing-retreat\/\">Info on those sprints here<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Speed is great, of course, except there\u2019s not much use in sprinting, if you just have to rewrite everything afterwards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In particular, it\u2019s easy, when writing fast, to grab for off-the-shelf descriptors of character and emotion. It\u2019s also easy to just shove in words because we need to say <em>something<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Anything picked off the shelf in that way is just bound to be bad:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Hand shaking, she reached for the doorbell, her chest rising heavily as she tried to control her breathing. Was she turning red? She felt sure she was.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>She was just reaching for her phone, wondering if she should cancel, when the big red-painted door swung open from the inside revealing an elderly man with grey hair and a wizened face and small gold glasses teetering atop his high forehead.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u2018Is it \u2013 is it Mr Stanway?\u2019 she stuttered.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u2018One and the same,\u2019 said the man with an awkward bow and he waved her inside with his wrinkled hand.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Trying desperately to calm her breathing, she forced herself to cross the threshold.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now, OK, I wrote that to be bad, but the injuries to good writing are almost too many to count. What\u2019s more, a lot of these injuries are quite common in first draft text \u2013 especially when written under a kind of self-imposed time pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So let\u2019s identify some of those uglicious brutes in order that we can MURDER THEM when we notice them during our springs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Uglicious Brute the First:<br><\/strong><em>Body part description substituting for normal description of feelings.<\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The first para of our little text contains these beauties:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Hand shaking, she reached for the doorbell, her chest rising heavily as she tried to control her breathing. Was she turning red? She felt sure she was.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We have a shaky hand, a heaving chest, a comment about an inner attempt to control that chest and then a Q&amp;A about the possibility of blushing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That seems like overkill. What are we trying to convey? That this woman is nervous? Or that she is having a complete mental &amp; physical collapse and will probably end up in heart surgery \u2013 or a psychiatric hospital \u2013 or both?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The normal solution is simple. Just say what you mean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>She felt suddenly, unaccountably nervous. If it wasn\u2019t too late, if she wasn\u2019t already at the door, she\u2019d have turned around, gone back to the station, returned to her family, forgotten the whole thing.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That\u2019s much less telenovela than the first option, and the simplicity of approach yields instantly more texture too. In the first version, the source of the woman\u2019s peculiar heaving and shaking just wasn\u2019t that clear. Now we have a clear insight into what she\u2019s feeling: she\u2019s nervous; she thinks this is a mistake; she wants to go home. That\u2019s an easy rational intro to what follows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As a simple rule: if you ever find yourself grasping too much for those body-part descriptions, just tell yourself to explain the emotional landscape in simple, clear text. You\u2019ll probably prefer it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Uglicious Brute the Second:<br><\/strong><em>Shoving in adjectives because you\u2019re panicking.<\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here, the issue is that you have in mind (correctly) that you need to establish some physical detail, but you don\u2019t just want to halt the flow as you put in wodges of descriptive text. That kind of panic result in horrors like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>when the big red-painted door swung open from the inside revealing an elderly man with grey hair and a wizened face and small gold glasses teetering atop his high forehead.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The main issue here is that you\u2019re going too fast. Just slow it down. Figure out what each sentence wants to say, then say it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here, there are two things going on. First, the door opens. Then she sees a man. Let\u2019s handle each of those two things in turn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>The red door swung slowly open.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We don\u2019t need to say it\u2019s painted. Readers know how paint works. We don\u2019t need to say it\u2019s large, unless the size of the door has some material function in the set up. It probably doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then we\u2019ll deal with the man:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>The door was held by an elderly man, smiling. He wore green tweed and had a friendly, open demeanour, almost amused<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now, maybe this passage doesn\u2019t want him amused or friendly. Maybe it wants to go in another direction. But you can see instantly that this descriptive approach brings together something physical (green tweed) and something emotional \/ character-led (friendly \/ amused.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The first passage was almost embarrassingly cliched. The guy\u2019s old, so we\u2019ll give him a high forehead, white hair, a wizened face, and little round glasses. We might as well just dial someone up from central casting. And in that tsunami of clich\u00e9, we\u2019ve quite forgotten to find anything particular to say about this man apart from \u201che looks old\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Uglicious Brute the Third:<br><\/strong><em>Dialogue that is basically pointless<\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In our chunk of Terrible Text, we suffered the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u2018Is it \u2013 is it Mr Stanway?\u2019 she stuttered.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u2018One and the same,\u2019 said the man with an awkward bow and he waved her inside with his wrinkled hand.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Apart from telling us that our female protagonist is only a step away from the loony bin (she can\u2019t even ask a simple question without stuttering), and that the man is old, this tells us nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So the recipe here is drop any fake drama (the stuttering, the awkward bow) and ditch the empty descriptive stuff (the wrinkled hand.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Instead, either be brisk:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u2018Mr Stanway?\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u2018Yes, indeed. Do come on in.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or offer us some detail that gives purpose to this all:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u2018Mr Stanway?\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u2018Oh, for heaven\u2019s sake. I\u2019m George. And you\u2019ll be Maddy? Come on in. We\u2019re mid-marmalade, I\u2019m afraid.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The tone of voice and the \u2018mid-marmalade\u2019 comment is instantly starting to give character to this man, so the extra word count is amply justified. Indeed, because the reader doesn\u2019t quite know what \u2018mid-marmalade\u2019 means, you\u2019ve just created a (tiny, but real) reason to turn the page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Either of these options is better than the one we just started with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Uglicious Brute the Fourth:<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><em>Creating fake-drama where no drama is needed<\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Part of the whole heaving-chest, shaking-hand thing is the creation of fake drama where none is really needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So our original text had this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Trying desperately to calm her breathing, she forced herself to cross the threshold.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now, OK, if she\u2019s crossing into the KGB\u2019s old Lubyanka prison, I\u2019d get this level of anxiety. But shoving that kind of thing into much more ordinary situations just makes us think worse of the protagonist. Yes, <em><u>some<\/u><\/em> anxiety might be appropriate (in which case say so), but keep that anxiety proportionate to the situation. In effect, you have a book-long budget for emotional drama: don\u2019t end up spending that on nonsense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, much better would be simply:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u2018Thank you,\u2019 she said, and stepped inside.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There you go. All done. Avoid those uglies, but sprint like hell. Feedback Friday is simple-dimple, my beauties. It\u2019s this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>FEEDBACK FRIDAY \/ All sprint, no uglies<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Write a bit of text (in or out of our sprint rooms) as fast as you can. 250 words or so please.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You\u2019re allowed one fast edit, but don\u2019t spend an age on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then post it please (with title, genre and any context) <strong>without any uglies<\/strong>! You don\u2019t have to write anything of extreme loveliness to win at this challenge. Just an absence of horrors will do nicely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When you are ready, post in the <a href=\"https:\/\/myjericho.jerichowriters.com\/forums\/forum\/6-november-all-sprint-no-uglies\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>Townhouse forum<\/strong>.<\/a><br>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How should you approach editing your work? Harry shares practical novel-writing tips on editing through examples of reducing overwriting, avoiding cliche and conveying ideas simply but effectively. This month we\u2019re doing writing sprints: boosting that word count, in company, so you get support and accountability. (Info on those sprints here.) Speed is great, of course,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":815759,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29292],"tags":[286,29298,342],"class_list":["post-1026916","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-harrys-friday-email","tag-editing","tag-self-editing","tag-show-dont-tell"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Jericho Writers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jerichowriters.com\/sprinting-with-sophistication-writing-with-care-and-editing-with-precision\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sprinting with Sophistication: Writing With Care And Editing with Precision &#8211; Jericho Writers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How should you approach editing your work? Harry shares practical novel-writing tips on editing through examples of reducing overwriting, avoiding cliche and conveying ideas simply but effectively. This month we\u2019re doing writing sprints: boosting that word count, in company, so you get support and accountability. (Info on those sprints here.) 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This month we\u2019re doing writing sprints: boosting that word count, in company, so you get support and accountability. (Info on those sprints here.) 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